When you plan a move to Dubai, you prepare yourself for the heat, the expense and the culture shock. But is there really any way to know exactly what to expect?
It’s the unique cultural quirks that often cause the greatest pain and occasional laughs for newbies in Dubai. By the time I hit my six month Dubai anniversary, I still felt fresh off the plane at times, but was slowly learning the ropes and getting to grips with Dubai’s often hilarious downsides. Here’s a list of some of Dubai’s strangest quirks that you have to come to terms with yourself when you move here.
The expat experience in the desert definitely isn’t without its frustrations. Why doesn’t anyone tell new Dubai expats this stuff before they arrive?!
Annoying, strange and funny things about Dubai that new expats should be warned about
Watch my full Dubai video on Youtube
1 Taxi drivers don’t know where they’re going.
Map your journey beforehand or you’ll be taken on a magical mystery tour of Sheikh Zayed Road.
2 The traffic is hideous.
And you’ll see more crashes in six months here than you will in a lifetime at home.
3 Locals smell fantastic.
It’s called oud and you need it in your life.
4 ‘Yalla habibi’.
Like you need to learn any other Arabic than this.
5 It actually does rain sometimes.
And when it rains, Dubai grinds to a soggy halt. The city retains water like a premenstrual woman.
6 Everything runs on Arabic time.
So even arriving fashionably late means you’ll get there too early.
7 It really is 90% expats.
Actual Emiratis are completely outnumbered so if you want to learn about local culture, you should make your way to the Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding.
8 You never get used to working on a Sunday.
But at least when Monday rolls around and your Facebook friends are complaining, you’re already over the hurdle.
9 You’ll soon think nothing of dropping Ā£100 on brunch.
It’s worth it.
10 Having cabin crew friends is essential.
Especially when you’re invited to a party and realise there’s nowhere to buy booze. Duty free awaits.
11 Everyone either works for Emirates or in real estate.
Aside from the Jumeirah Janes. They don’t work.
12 You’ll learn more about other cultures than you thought possible.
You probably don’t need to travel any further than Dubai now.
13 The Sheikh is one of the most down to earth royals.
But have you spotted him at the mall yet?
14 ‘Inshallah’ is a valid reply to most enquiries.
Even in the workplace.
15 Landlords are the devil.
Definitely check whether that room you’ve rented has been split into two with an extra wall.
16 It’s freezing inside.
Between intense air conditioning everywhere and needing to dress modestly en route to Barasti, you’ll need a coverup on hand.
17 Ladies, there’s really no point applying foundation.
It’ll be in a puddle at your feet as soon as you step outside.
18 You’ll never carry heavy grocery bags again.
It will become normal to call the shop below your building and ask them to bring you a bottle of water. Former you is judging Dubai you.
19 And you’ll stop recycling.
Don’t tell anyone at home.
20 Your weekend plans will blow your life at home away.
But there’s nothing like going back <3
21 And you’ll always be hungover on Wednesdays.
Tuesdays = Ladies Nights = Free drinks = help.
22 Did I mention the heat?
You can kiss goodbye to exercising, or even walking outside, in the summer months. Okay, you were warned, but can anything prepare you?
23 Ramadan will test you.
But you should totally go to an Iftar feast.
24 We’re all in this together.
It will become normal to be invited to surprise parties for people you’ve never met, because everyone’s in the same boat so you make friends when you can. Double the surprise?
24 Dubai Mall is a vortex and should be avoided at all costs.
Unless you’re cool with emerging ten hours later and 2000 AED lighter.
26 You’ll stop cooking.
Because ordering in is just too easy.
27 It’s impossible to find decent fresh fruit and vegetables.
The fancy hotels clearly buy their buffet ingredients on some kind of veggie black market.
28 Most of the metro station names don’t have anything to do with their actual locations.
DAMAC = The Marina and Sharaf DG is just a shop that also has branches elsewhere? What?
29 You’ll never go further than Downtown after you move to Marina.
Even if you had good intentions to explore ‘Old Dubai‘ when you first arrived.
30 Right of way is determined by who has the bigger car.
Seriously.
31 You’ll stop being impressed by anything.
I hate to break it to you, but Dubai kinda ruins you for life š
Tips for surviving your first brunch in Dubai
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Katie Elizabeth Meehan says
Sounds like such a wonderful place, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself!
Vivian says
I still have yet to travel to Dubai, mostly because of how expensive it must be there! glad you seem to be enjoying yourself though š
Faye says
Ha ha I lived in Dubai for a year and could not agree more with all these points! All except 18 – I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Came very close a lot of times tho!
Faye x